


Mistranslation

by LilyRosePotter



Series: Comments Challenge Reward Ficlets [2]
Category: Crooked Media RPF
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Aliens, Alternate Universe - Space, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 17:37:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17125775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyRosePotter/pseuds/LilyRosePotter
Summary: “Leave it to you two to get accidentally bonded for life in an alien ceremony.”





	Mistranslation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SelfRescuingPrincess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelfRescuingPrincess/gifts).



> for the prompt "fake/pretend relationship/accidentally married"

The first time Jon notices, they’re getting back on the ship after what might be their strangest experience on an alien planet yet. He stops in the doorway with Lovett to look over the food they managed to trade for and his heart clenches like it’s being squeezed in a giant fist. He rubs at his chest absently, but keeps working.

The ache fades when they walk into the control room where Tommy and Dan are bent over the map so Jon ignores it.

Jon notices it again the next morning, when he wakes up late and groggy and his chest aching. He checks his clock to find that he’s overslept and reaches for a couple aspirin.

The drugs set in by the time he’s wandered to the mess and slid down onto the bench next to Tommy.

“I know you’re a valuable part of our team,” Lovett snarks, “but that doesn’t mean you can get out of your chores by oversleeping.”

“Sorry,” Jon says automatically, “I had a-” the ache in his chest, that had had him practically doubled over walking the halls, is totally gone. “Won’t happen again.”

The third time, Jon and Dan are on the supply deck, totaling up their fuel, when Jon’s chest is pierced by a knife straight through, judging by the pain. He clutches at it with a cry, hearing Dan yelp “Jon, hey!” before the world goes dark.

He wakes up in the infirmary to Tommy and Dan leaning over him.

“What happened?” Jon mutters.

“You passed out,” Dan frowns. “The scanner isn’t picking up anything wrong with you?”

“My chest,” Jon pats it. It feels fine. “I don’t- maybe I didn’t drink enough water?”

Tommy frowns, hand moving to his own chest in sympathy. “That’s weird, you had plenty to drink at lunch. I-” he shakes his head. “I’ve gotta go check something on the bridge.”

Jon blinks after him, confused.

Tommy barely clears the doorway before Jon’s heart gets that clenched ache again. It takes him a second to realize that the tortured cry isn’t his own, but Tommy’s, as he sinks to the ground in the hall with a thump.

 

***

 

“So Jon and Tommy can’t get more than ten feet apart without being in excruciating pain,” Lovett says, too easily, an hour later after they’ve done every test they can think of.

“Actually-“ Tommy grimaces. He stands up slowly and scoots his chair two feet closer to Jon. Jon sighs with relief as his chest depressurizes. “It’s getting worse.”

Dan frowns between them. “When did this start?”

Jon squints. “Getting on the ship after Damyke. But it wasn’t this bad then.”

“I noticed it when I got to the bridge,” Tommy says. “I guess you came up later.”

Lovett claps his hands and shoots up from the edge of Jon’s bed. “That fucking ceremony.”

“What, they put a curse on us?” Tommy scoffs.

“Maybe,” Lovett says solemnly.

They’d barely been on Damyke for twenty minutes when two of the aliens grabbed Jon and Tommy, talking fast and unintelligible, even with their universal translators. Damyke hadn’t been in their database as more than a footnote, the translations and their knowledge of the culture were incomplete.

The ship ordinarily wouldn’t have stopped with that little information, but they’d been desperate to restock their food supplies and the closest known trading post was two weeks away.

The Damykians had led them to a clearing, the translator picking up words like “purifying” and “auras” and “partners.”

Jon shrugged at Tommy. “If this ritual helps us build a relationship with them-“

Their guides had nodded exuberantly and repeated, “relationship!”

The ceremony itself had been brief. Smoke and chanting the translator couldn’t understand, Jon’s hands placed in Tommy’s and some kind of mystical wisp of air wrapping around them, pressing their fingers close.

After, there’d been a resounding cheer from the gathered Damykians and a huge party with lots of food to celebrate their new trading relationship. They’d left with what they came for: supplies to last the ship at least to the next trading post.

And then Jon’s heart started to ache.

“We’ve got to go back,” Dan says firmly. “You two stay here until we figure this out.” He grabs Lovett by the sleeve and sweeps out of the infirmary without paying any attention to Jon and Tommy’s protests.

 

***

 

By the time the ship lands on Damyke again, Jon’s practically in Tommy’s lap on the hospital bed. They both double over in pain if they’re not touching and in the last few minutes, Jon’s started to notice that even holding hands isn’t enough anymore.

Tommy slides an arm around his shoulder, barely past companionable, as they head towards the ramp and Jon’s heart swoops in a totally different way.

“They are _partners_ ,” one of the Damykians is explaining to Dan as their feet hit the ground. Jon flinches a little from the expansive gesture towards them.

“Sure we are,” Tommy frowns. “But I don’t understand what that has to do with the curse you put on us.”

The Damykian, Jon thinks his name is Hetis, sputters, “Curse? Not a curse! A bond!” He gestures indignantly at Dan.

Dan sighs, long-suffering. “Apparently, the two of you participated in an ancient bonding ritual akin to marriage.”

Jon’s heart stops.

“Marriage?” Tommy squeaks. His arm falls from Jon’s shoulders, but he doesn’t step away.

Lovett giggles like Jon isn’t having trouble breathing. “Leave it to you two to get accidentally bonded for life in an alien ceremony.”

Jon glares at the translator hovering between them, tapping its shell. “It’s mistranslating.”

Dan looks at him like he’s an idiot, though his eyes are kind. “You know it learns as it goes. The translator isn’t wrong.”

“Well how do you- get divorced or whatever?” Tommy is glaring at Hetis. “You can’t just go around marrying people without their consent.”

Hetis looks confused. “But you wanted it. Your auras said-” They step closer, peering, it feels like, into Jon’s aching soul. “The bond would not have formed had both of you not been… consenting.”

“Informed consent,” Lovett mutters, but Jon’s brain is spinning.

He turns to stare at Tommy in disbelief. Tommy’s face mirrors his own shock, so much that they both speak at once:

“You wanted?”

Jon shrugs forcibly, trying to play it as cool as possible, when your innermost feelings have just been exposed by aliens. "I didn't- I didn't not want. Obviously."

Tommy reaches for his hand, holding it carefully. "Me neither."

"I never thought," Jon swallows. "You want to be married to _me_?"

Tommy laughs, "I mean, I would probably have preferred dating first but- yeah." He grins so wide that Jon can’t keep disbelieving. "I do."

"Fuck." Jon takes both Tommy’s hands in his. "No one else I'd rather be tied to."

Tommy smiles, softer, and tugs Jon closer. "Me too."

Hetis beams, smug. “See? Consenting.”

“Leaving aside the fact that you should _tell people_ before you bond them for life,” Lovett steps towards them. “Why can’t they separate? No matter how sappy in love they are, they’re going to need to be able to be more than a foot away from each other at some point.”

“Oh,” Hetis says brightly. “The bond will settle once it’s been consummated.”

Lovett squeals with laughter. Dan pinches his arm. Jon looks at his feet.

“What?” Lovett bitches. “They're literally being told they have to fuck to survive, we’re going to need to sanitize the whole ship."

"Fuck off Lovett," Tommy snaps.

“I think you actually…” Lovett starts. “Ouch.”

Jon loves Dan so much.

“Come, we will celebrate together,” Hetis says eagerly.

“Your people sure love a party,” Dan laughs a little, following him towards the village, dragging Lovett along with a firm hand.

Jon sets his jaw, squeezes Tommy’s hand, and doesn’t follow.

 

***

 

"You're okay with this?” Tommy checks, when they’re pressed together on Jon’s bed, both shirtless and wanting. “We can- I don't know I'm sure that there's a-"

Jon leans in to kiss him, slow and careful and like they’re on fire. "I'm so sure. You?"

"I've been sure for so long," Tommy groans

Jon laughs a little. "Why the fuck did you never say then?" he asks, reaching for Tommy’s waistband.

"I didn't know," Tommy sighs, arching his back so Jon can slide his pants off, "and the ship is so small. If you hadn't wanted-"

Jon sighs and kisses his neck. "I know. I- I thought about saying, a few times, but I couldn't lose you."

"Me neither," Tommy leans forward. "Now I never have to."

Jon gasps a little, pulling him close. "Fuck, Tommy, I-"

"I know you won't believe it's not the spell," Tommy says as he kisses him, "but I love you."

Jon whines into his mouth, heart pounding. "I- you- too-" He gasps in air, pulling back a little until he can breathe again. Tommy loves him. Jon reaches out with shaking hands to trace Tommy’s cheeks. “Please fuck me."

"You don't need to ask twice," Tommy chokes, reaching for Jon's pants and pulling them down.

Jon shivers under his hands. "Good. There's-" He reaches for the nightstand.

Tommy takes the tube from Jon’s grasping fingers and flips them, sliding down Jon’s naked body effortlessly, like he does this all the time. In one smooth motion he pulls Jon into his mouth as he slides a finger inside him.

Jon yells in surprise. "Fuck! Tom!"

Tommy grins around him as he crooks his finger, pulls off just a bit to murmur, hoarse, “Thank goodness they left us the ship to ourselves if you’re going to be this loud.”

Jon keens and arches into his hand, too overwhelmed to be self conscious. He babbles uncontrolled, "Fuck, Tom, so good, fuck."

Tommy adds a second finger and pulls off to fist him. "You're gorgeous," Tommy tells him. "Your eyes, your hands, your _voice_."

Jon whines helplessly, "you- _please_." He might die if Tommy doesn’t get in him soon.

"Yeah." Tommy pulls his fingers out, rising up Jon's body and kissing him.

Jon reaches up to grab his head, hands tangling in his hair and pulling him closer. "Tommy, fuck."

"Can I?" Tommy kisses him and lifts his thigh. "Jon please, I want-"

Jon’s head rolls back into the pillows, desperate. “God, yes, why haven’t you already-“

Tommy laughs and Jon gasps as the movement shakes his body. He pushes his hips up, “Tommy!” and Tommy presses forward to meet him.

"Jon, fuck, you feel-" Tommy closes his eyes. "Why did we wait so long?"

Jon groans. "Why are you asking that now? Fucking _move_."

"I'm trying to make this last longer than thirty seconds,” Tommy bites back even as he snaps his hips, pressing just right.

Jon whines, "yeah, yeah, more.” He spreads his knees wider and digs his heels into Tommy's thighs, urging him on, needing more, needing it to never stop. Tommy groans and seems to give up on holding back, his hips moving faster and faster, erratic and _so good_.

Jon keens and reaches for his own dick and Tommy bats his hand away, replacing it with his own. Jon _stares_. Tommy’s hand looks like it was made to hold his dick, never mind how amazing it _feels_.

He tears his eyes away to focus on Tommy's eyes, pleading, "fuck, _Tommy_ , please."

Tommy leans to kiss him. “Shh I got you.”

Jon shivers and leans up into his hand, his thighs freezing as his mouth opens on a gasp.

Tommy pants a little and moves his hips and his hands faster. Jon clutches at his hips and Tommy stutters, groaning Jon's name.

“Please-” Jon begs, “I just- a little- _more_.”

Tommy swears, “Fuck Jon you’re-” and snaps his hips and squeezes his hand. He presses his thumb to the head of Jon's dick, then squeezes him, hard and fast.

Jon folds in on himself, shouting embarrassingly loudly as he comes all over Tommy’s hand and both their stomachs.

Tommy keens as Jon tightens around him, holds himself still and leans to kiss Jon through it.

Jon gasps, “Don’t stop.” He reaches sloppy arms around his neck, pulling Tommy towards him, needing him closer, in every way.

“Fuck Jon, you're so much," Tommy whines. He pulls almost all the way out and then snaps his hips forward, driving back into Jon. Jon clings to him, both of their bodies moving with Tommy’s thrusts.

 

Tommy drives into him three more times before he’s yelling, “Jon!” and coming, collapsing bonelessly on Jon’s chest. Jon quiets him through it, his hands on Tommy's spine.

He thinks he can feel it now, the bond. Steady and invisible, like the wisps around their wrists during the… wedding.

Jon strokes Tommy’s hair careful and slow. “Do you, uh, it’s still okay? I think we’re super alien married now.”

Tommy chuckles, "I think we can separate now at least." He leans his head back a little, until Jon can see his eyes, clear and blue and intent. “I- ahh, I know this wasn't the best way to do this, but, I wasn't lying earlier. If I have to be alien married to anyone, I'm so glad it's you."

Jon laughs and reaches for his cheek, feeling overwhelmingly fond. “Me too.” He pulls Tommy’s unresisting face down for another kiss. “Maybe we can wait ‘til morning to test the separation thing?”

Tommy hums, "Please." He rubs himself against Jon's thigh gently and yawns. "Another round, in a few hours."

Jon laughs and sinks into the pillows. “Sounds good.”

Tommy's asleep in seconds, snuffling softly against Jon’s chest. Jon shifts a little under him, knowing he’s going to be uncomfortable later under Tommy’s weight.

For now though, he can’t care and the bond is singing.

“I love you,” Jon whispers, stroking Tommy’s hair as his eyes slide shut. He’s pretty sure, but not certain, that he imagines Tommy whispering over the bond in his sleep: _me too_.


End file.
